What If You’ve Already Made It?

We spend so much of our lives chasing the next mountain that we forget we’re already standing at the summit of a former dream. We may already be living the life we once longed for.  In a world obsessed with doing more, becoming more, and never stopping to look back, we rarely give ourselves credit for how far we’ve come.

I didn’t always realize I did this. I’m someone who believes in evolution, growth, and becoming. I lead a movement built on the power of personal transformation and self-empowerment, rooted in agency, conscious growth, alignment, and the creation of lives that reflect what we truly want.  But even those of us who teach these principles need to be reminded – sometimes quite humbly – to slow down long enough to recognize the success we’re already standing in.

The Moment I Realized I was Already Living the Dream

A few weeks ago, I was on a Zoom call with five women who have become sacred companions on my personal growth journey. We’ve been in a monthly book club for about six months – a deliberate continuation of a powerful and deeply transformative experience we shared through a program called Living As If You Matter. That six-month journey brought us into deeper alignment with our truth, our worth, our wounds, and our highest intentions. And in the process, we found one another.

When the program ended, we weren’t ready to part ways. We chose to stay connected, committing to a monthly gathering that became more than a book club. It became a sanctuary – a space where we could discuss what we’re reading and how we’re growing, where catching up on life was as important as turning the pages. Each conversation has become an anchor, reminding us not just of who we are but of how far we’ve come.

The Question That Stopped Me Cold: “Have You Told Your Younger Self You’ve Made It?”

During this particular call, one of the women who had flown in just weeks earlier to celebrate my 60th birthday began talking about that weekend. She described how my home – its spacious layout, the number of guest rooms, the hot tub, the community clubhouse with its restaurant, the pickleball and tennis courts, the swimming pool, and the golf course – felt like it had been built for joy, celebration, and connection. She said it felt like a destination. The others chimed in, affirming that my home radiated warmth, ease, and the kind of energy that invites people to breathe deeper and feel held. 

Then one of them, with that wise and gentle tone that only close friends use when they’re about to land a truth, asked, “Have you told your younger self that you’ve made it?”

I smiled at first – laughed a little, even. But then something inside me paused. I responded, “I haven’t even told my current self that I’ve made it.”

And just like that, everything got quiet – inside and out.

Why Chasing Success Keeps You From Feeling Like You’ve Arrived

We live in a world that glorifies constant striving. The hustle is holy. Achievement is our currency. Productivity is mistaken for worth. And we’re taught to believe that the next goal, milestone, and version of ourselves will finally be “enough.” So we keep going. We chase the next promotion. We strive for the next title, the next launch, the next breakthrough. We become so fluent in forward motion that we forget how to stand still. 

And in all that motion, we rarely pause to reflect on how far we’ve already come. We recalibrate so quickly that we barely notice even when we cross a finish line. We move the goalpost before we ever let ourselves feel the pride. 

And in that forgetting, something precious is lost.

We rob ourselves of the joy of arrival. We miss the sacred, quiet miracle of being right here, right now – in the life we once only imagined. We disconnect emotionally from our own growth and success. Without that connection, even the most extraordinary life can feel like a checklist we’re rushing to complete. 

Honoring the Girl Who Dreamed of The Life I’m Living Now

I think about the girl I used to be – the one who often felt invisible, not just to others, but to the systems and structures that were supposed to care. The girl who grew up without enough – without enough food some days, without enough love most days, without the steady presence of someone saying, you matter. She learned early that safety was her responsibility alone, that love seemed impossible to earn, and survival depended on how much you could endure.

I think of the woman she became – the one who believed she had to do it all.  Who equated her worth with how much she could carry, how much she could prove, how hard she could push. The version of me who never stopped moving because stopping felt like failing. 

She dreamed of the freedom that could only come with success, no longer having to scrape and stretch just to survive. Freedom from scarcity, shouldering everything alone, and the quiet desperation of always trying to prove her worth. She imagined a life where she could finally exhale. She longed for comfort and stability. She dreamed of beauty, warmth, welcome, spaciousness, and ease. She dreamed of being held by a life that reflected the worth she never felt allowed to claim.

And yet, somewhere along the way, I became so focused on where I was headed that I stopped seeing where I already was. Not just the physical space I occupied, but the life I had built – the relationships, the beauty, the inner peace that had once felt out of reach. I was standing in the middle of what I used to dream about, but I hadn’t even realized I’d arrived. I was living inside an answered prayer, but rushing through it like it was a layover on the way to somewhere better.

Because it’s not just about healing, it’s about inhabiting. Letting yourself feel what your younger self couldn’t even imagine was possible. It's about no longer treating your life like a to-do list, but like a sacred landscape you're allowed to explore, linger in, and touch with reverence.

When we become fully present, something shifts. Time slows. Breath deepens. The ordinary becomes extraordinary. A quiet moment, a soft light, and a deep laugh suddenly feel like treasure. You start to realize that the richness and beauty were always here, waiting for your arrival.

And that’s what it means to enjoy it. Not to consume or collect, but to receive. To receive what we once only imagined. To let your body relax into the safety of now. To let joy find you without condition. To feel the fullness of life, not just because you earned it, but because you’re finally willing to let it in.

The When is Now

There’s a truth I’ve come to recognize in myself and in so many of the people I work with – we are often in emotional debt to our goals. We defer our joy. We bypass the pride that comes with achievement. We delay our celebration. We think we’ll celebrate when the next thing happens, when we finally “make it” – but the goalpost keeps moving.

We become experts at postponing the very feelings we’ve worked so hard to create.

We say things like, “I’ll slow down after this deadline,” or “I’ll be proud of myself once I finish this project,” or “I’ll rest when I get to that next level.” But that moment never fully arrives, because we’re already chasing the next.

This is what I call the “when, then” phenomenon.
When I get that promotion, then I’ll feel secure.
When I lose the weight, then I’ll feel beautiful.
When I’m finally recognized, then I’ll feel worthy.

But there are two problems with this way of living. First, we rarely stop long enough, actually, to feel the thing we were chasing. We keep pushing the finish line further and further away. And second, we have it backward. These experiences – peace, joy, freedom, ease, luxury, pride – aren’t things we earn by arriving somewhere. They are states of being we can choose right now.

I had a moment earlier this year that hit this lesson home for me. At the start of 2025, I chose two words to guide my year – savor and luxury. I didn’t pick them lightly. I chose them precisely because they stood in stark contrast to the messages I was raised with. I come from a family where endurance was expected, and hardship was worn like a badge of honor. Rest was seen as weakness. Joy was indulgent. And anything that looked or felt like luxury – ease, comfort, delight – was shameful.

So when I chose savor and luxury, I wasn’t just picking a theme – I was making a declaration. I wanted to embody those words – not just conceptually but in how I moved through the world. I wanted to slow down and feel the fullness of life, to let beauty in without guilt, and to experience pleasure without needing to justify it.

Ironically, the first quarter of the year was financially tight. And almost immediately, I shifted into hustle mode. I told myself, “Well, I guess savor and luxury will come after I fix this. When I get through this financial season, then I’ll return to those intentions.”

But something in me paused. I heard my own story as if it belonged to someone else. And I realized the flaw in my logic.

Savor and luxury were never supposed to be the prize waiting at the end of a struggle. They weren’t dependent on my income, my calendar, or the state of my bank account. They were a mindset – a way of being. I could choose to savor a moment, even in uncertainty. I could find luxury in stillness, in a morning walk, in saying no to one more thing that drained me.

That’s when it hit me – there is no “when, then.”
There is only now.

There is only this moment, and the courage to feel what you’ve already deserve simply by just existing.  There is nothing that needs to be earned, only savored. This is where the beauty and richness live in our lives.

How to Feel Present in the Life You Worked So Hard to Create

After the book club call, I walked through my home with new eyes that night. The same walls. The same furniture. The same photos. But everything felt different.

I lit a candle. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked around. I thought about the dreams I used to whisper under my breath. I thought about the sleepless nights, the heartbreaks, the grit it took to keep going when I wasn’t sure how. I thought about the decades of striving, of healing, of becoming.

And I placed my hand on my heart and whispered to myself, “You made it.”

Not because life is perfect. Not because I’ve stopped growing. Not because the journey is over. But because I can finally see the life I’ve created – not just in material terms, but in how it feels – right here in front of me.

Redefining Success:  It’s Not About What You Achieve, But What You Feel

Success, for me, isn’t just about getting what you want. It’s about learning how to feel what you have. It’s not just about external milestones, it’s about internal meaning. It’s about pausing, looking around your life, and saying, “This matters. This counts. This version of me is already enough.”

And so I ask you, with all the tenderness and honesty I can offer.

Have you told your current self that you’ve made it?

Have you paused long enough to feel the life you’ve built? To feel proud of what you have created, of 

Have you looked around – not with the eyes of critique, but with the eyes of compassion – and noticed what’s already here?

Because the version of you who longed for this is still waiting for your recognition. Waiting for you to say, “Thank you for dreaming. Thank you for choosing yourself. Thank you for becoming.”

You Don’t Need to Hustle – Give Yourself the Gift of Arrival

You don’t have to stop dreaming. But you do have to stop bypassing your life.

Give yourself the gift of arrival. Let this be the season where you slow down enough to feel the joy. To acknowledge the beauty. To receive the very things you once thought were out of reach – not with guilt or urgency, but with full permission.

This is what self-leadership looks like. This is what emotional freedom feels like. Not just getting what you want but learning how to live inside what you’ve created. How to savor it.  How to let it in.

And if you need a place to start, start here.

Stand in your living room. Sit at your desk. Tuck your child into bed. Watch the way sunlight moves across the wall. Feel your own breath.

And say it.

Say it out loud.

“You’ve made it. You just forgot to notice.”

And if you’re ready to stop chasing and start fully living – to reclaim your joy, presence, and personal power – I invite you to take the next step. You can learn more about my work and how we can partner at www.drcharleanea.com.