What is Success?

I have often shared that 2024 was the best year of my life. And it truly was—but not for the reasons you might initially think. Sure, there were goals, milestones, achievements, and projects completed, but those alone didn’t make it the best. What made it extraordinary was how I chose to stop hiding, stop playing small, and take up the space in the world I intended to occupy. My most significant decision for 2024 was to own my story and share the gifts that have come from it, using them to help others heal and inspire them to stand in their power. It was the year I fully stepped into my power and used it to create the experiences I wanted.

Let me explain.

At the beginning of 2024, I made a decision that changed everything—to use my voice and my story as a way to connect, inspire, and serve. I started leveraging social media platforms to share messages I believed could help others in their healing journeys and stand confidently in their power. It wasn’t just about being seen; it was about sharing something meaningful that could create ripples of transformation in the lives of others. These weren’t just principles I tried to embody in my own life—they were the same messages and wisdom I use in my work with clients. Whether they are confronting their own limiting beliefs, healing from old wounds, or stepping into their power, I wanted to offer the guidance and inspiration that could help others recognize their strength and potential. My mission was to live these truths and use them to empower others to transform their lives.

As part of this journey, I started a podcast, and through my growth and development, then pivoted to my new podcast in 2025, She Is MOTHER, which has become a platform for amplifying these messages of empowerment, healing, and growth. Alongside my blog, Unshrinking, the podcast became another way for me to own my story, my gifts, and my voice—and to share them on a bigger scale. I also focused on building community and connection, recognizing that my growth and fulfillment could not happen in isolation. Building community became a cornerstone of my year because I realized how essential it was to have support, encouragement, and shared experiences with others. Community is where we experience validation and belonging, where our stories are met with empathy and understanding. It’s where we can be both vulnerable and celebrated, creating a space to exchange ideas, hold each other accountable, and lift one another up. Building community wasn’t just about networking; it was about cultivating relationships that nourished my soul, pushed me to grow, held me when I was unsure, and reminded me that I didn’t have to walk this path alone. In the presence of a strong community, I found strength, inspiration, and the courage to keep going even when self-doubt crept in. Community allowed me to give and receive love, support, and encouragement in ways that enriched my journey far beyond what I could have done alone.

These endeavors became more than projects and goals; they became vehicles for the experiences I wanted to cultivate—connection, joy, creative expansion, more profound self-discovery, and, ultimately, the luxuriousness of stepping fully into my life and my true self.

Of course, 2024 was also the year I achieved one of my biggest dreams—writing my first book, Terrible Gifts: Finding Light in the Darkest of Places. This book was an accomplishment and culmination of years of healing, self-discovery, and transformation. It was the fruit of my decision to stop playing small and to honor the message I felt called to share with the world.

But here’s the thing—while I’m proud of what I accomplished in 2024, success was never just about the milestones or achievements. It was about the experiences these accomplishments created. It was about the joy of creative expression, the expansion of my heart and soul, the love and support I felt from others, and the profound connections I built along the way. It was about stepping fully into my life and personal power and sharing my gifts with the world.

I realized that this was success from the perspective of my higher self. My higher self didn’t care about the external markers of success; it wanted me to experience joy, love, connection, and creative expansion. It wanted me to feel alive, aligned, and in flow. For the majority of the year, I lived from this higher perspective.

I’ve also learned that achieving goals or creating the things we want can feel hollow if we focus solely on getting the thing or reaching the finish line. If we don’t take the time to savor the experiences these goals bring us, the accomplishments themselves become empty. I often use the cotton candy metaphor when discussing external goals. Like cotton candy, reaching a goal can be sweet for a moment, but that sweetness dissolves quickly. Just like cotton candy disintegrates within seconds of hitting the moisture on your tongue, the satisfaction of an external achievement fades just as fast when we don’t lean into the richness of the journey.

True fulfillment—real sustenance—comes from immersing ourselves in the experience, savoring every drop. And what often surprises us is how these experiences can bring unexpected gifts. When I decided to stop playing small, to take up space in the world, and to become more visible so I could share my message on a bigger scale, I didn’t anticipate how much greater self-discovery I would experience along the way. I didn’t expect these efforts to open a doorway to my creativity or lead to a profound sense of expansiveness and joy. These were the unexpected rewards that came not from achieving a goal but from fully engaging in the experience of becoming and evolving.

Had I only focused on the result—on achieving the goal itself—the entire experience could have felt shallow, and I might have ended the year feeling empty. Then, I would have found myself onto the next thing, chasing the desire to feel filled up, only to find the same fleeting satisfaction. It would have become a hamster wheel, a vicious cycle of constantly striving for the next achievement, hoping it would finally bring me the fulfillment I longed for but never truly finding it. But by embracing the process, aligning with my higher self, and leaning into each moment completely, I discovered a sense of fulfillment that no external achievement alone could provide.

Then, something unexpected happened at the year’s end—my ego kicked in. As a business owner, I assess how much money I make to indicate my business growth.  And, right alongside what I described as my best year in terms of experience, I also discovered that I made significantly less money in 2024 than I had years before.  So, one indicator of success, business growth as measured by an increase in revenue, fell short of my goal.  And, in an instant, my focus shifted from the best year of my life to the worst year for my business, purely because of one number.  I found myself obsessing over a single metric—my income. In an instant, my ego tried to erase the experiences of the most incredible year of my life— all the joy, growth, creative excitement, and fulfillment—reduced to a number.

For a day or two, I spiraled into a fog of disappointment, discouragement, and disillusionment. The questions came rushing in: Was all that work for nothing? Had I wasted my time? Did I make the mistake of focusing on my passion and purpose over financial security? My ego was loud and relentless, filling my mind with doubts and convincing me that I had failed. It was as if everything I had done, everything I believed in and poured my heart and soul into, was suddenly up for debate, and the weight of it felt crushing. 

All those years of healing, self-awareness, and mindfulness have paid off. I caught myself in the spiral and paused. At that moment, I practiced self-compassion and gently reminded myself that the number in my bank account did not erase the experiences of 2024, nor did it define my worth or success. The joy, the creative flow, the connections, the love—all of it was real, tangible, and valid, regardless of my income.

I realized then that my ego had temporarily hijacked my definition of success, reducing it to something external and arbitrary. Don’t get me wrong—yes, we need money to live, but money is simply a tool to create the desired experiences. It is not and never will be, what defines the value of our lives or ourselves. My higher self understood this truth. It knew that success is not about what you achieve but how you feel and who you become along the way.

And, as I recentered myself in my deeper wisdom, I reminded myself that success is not just a number in one’s bank account. It’s the freedom to choose the experiences we want to have, the courage to step into our personal power, and the ability to savor the journey instead of just chasing the destination. Success is in the moments of joy and expansion, the love we give and receive, and how we grow and evolve. It’s about living in alignment with our higher selves, creating a meaningful and authentic life, and embracing the unexpected gifts that unfold along the way.

This doesn’t mean my ego went quietly. Its voice lingered, still whispering its doubts and fears, but it faded into the background as my higher self’s perspective stepped firmly into the spotlight. I am human, just like everyone else, and just like everyone else, as long as I am awake and conscious, my ego will always try to reclaim center stage. But now, I know better. I can hear it without believing it, acknowledge it without surrendering to it, and remind myself that my higher self holds the power to define what truly matters.

This experience taught me a powerful lesson: Success is what we make it. When we view success through the lens of the ego, it’s easy to get caught up in external markers like money, status, or accolades. But when we view success through the lens of the higher self, it becomes about the experiences we want to create and how we expand and grow as individuals.

I share this story because I know I’m not alone in this struggle. How many of us have let our egos define success for us? How many of us have dismissed our joy, growth, and accomplishments because they didn’t align with society’s narrow definition of success? How many of us have felt like failures because of the number in our bank account or on a scale, a missed promotion or opportunity, or an unmet goal?

It’s time to redefine success. It’s time to shift from the ego’s perspective to the higher self’s perspective. The ego will always focus on not-enoughness, comparison, and external markers of validation. It will always tell you you’re not enough and must achieve, earn, or do more to be worthy. But the higher self knows the truth. The higher self knows that you are already enough, just as you are. It knows that success is not about what you achieve but about how you feel, how you grow, how you want to show up in the world, and the freedom to choose what you want to experience.

So, let me ask you: What does success mean to you? Is it about achieving something external or creating experiences that align with your highest self? Is it about the destination, or is it about the journey? Is it about what you have, or is it about what you WANT to experience and who you are becoming?

Success in 2024 was about joy, connection, creative flow, taking up space, using my voice to help others, and stepping into my power. It was about aligning with my higher self and creating an authentic and meaningful life. And yes, my ego tried to sabotage it. But ultimately, I chose to reclaim my definition of success and honor the experiences that made 2024 the best year of my life.

If you’re reading this and feeling like you’ve failed because you haven’t achieved some external marker of success, I want to encourage you to pause and reflect. Look beyond the numbers, accomplishments, and accolades. Ask yourself: What experiences have I created? How have I grown? What moments have brought me freedom, flow, fulfillment, joy, love, and connection and made me feel alive and life worth living? These are the true markers of success. These are the things that matter.

Success is not about what you achieve. It’s about the experience of achieving what you want to do. It’s also about who you become along the way. It’s about aligning with your higher self and creating a meaningful and authentic life. Don’t let your ego rob you of the experiences that make your life rich and beautiful. Don’t let it reduce your worth to a number, a title, or a piece of paper.

You are more than your achievements. You are more than your income. You are more than your ego’s definition of success. You are a loving, creative, expansive, resourceful, and powerful being. And success, for you, can be however you choose to define it in terms of what it is you want to experience.

Here’s to redefining success, living in alignment with our higher selves, and creating experiences that make our lives truly extraordinary.